Mohawk Girls: All that glitters is not gold!

The Season 5 premiere episode of Mohawk Girls was firing on all cylinders! We have waited almost a year for their return, but the action picked up only one week following the “PowWow,” so I am going to jump right on in.

All evidence appeared to suggest that Anna (Maika Harper) had finally conformed enough to secure a spot in the world of Kahnawa:ke.  In a constant state of defending her man Midas (Tanner Novlan) from the hoe-bags, she was feeling the effects of the Blow Job King’s quota: “Midas’itus.” Anna turned to Iostha (Allyson Pratt) to glean some advice for tackling the tube steak that included such varied techniques as feigning a cold, and flavoured lube to make the task more … ummmm … palatable? Seems Anna has a hard task ahead to hold her position. Is “Hat Girl” is really and truly gone?

Next, we visited with Zoe (Brittany LeBorgne) during some of her sessions in rehab. And true to form, she had a difficult time relinquishing control of her feelings. That control became ever so clear during her art therapy workshop. But the therapist saw through her. Apparently, she didn’t paint “her truth.” She popped off a second attempt and yielded a result that demonstrated her deep anger. Perhaps this was the tipping point Zoe needed as she finally let down her barriers and got to the root of her issues? In a long-winded rant, Zoe revealed how angry she has been towards her parents for most of her life. “Maybe, I’d know what I was angry about if I ever got to lead my own life. But, I always had to be ‘role model Zoe’ and ‘perfect daughter, Zoe’ so that everyone liked me and respected me and thought I was doing enough for my community …. I hate my life!” I’d say Zoe revealed her truth!

Meanwhile, Caitlin (Heather White) was once again settling into her role as Butterhead’s (Meegwun Fairbrother) girlfriend whilst dodging messages from Leon (Dwain Murphy). The town seemed happy about her decision to get back with Butterhead, and even her old boss Suzette came by to offer her her old job back. And apparently, Butterhead was also adjusting to his role of boyfriend. He made Caitlin breakfast! An extra bonus for Caitlin came in the form of an “I love you, Caitlin,” from Butterhead’s daughter. But that moment was quickly dashed. Instead of the family staying in, the old Butterhead was back and headed out to party with the boys. Once again Caitlin was left to babysit. One step forward, three steps back, or so it seems for Caitlin.

Finally, we caught up with Bailey (Jenny Pudavick), who had just returned from her dream vacation to Paris with James (Jeffrey Wetsch). However, the girls didn’t give her much of a chance to bask in her happiness and quickly dampened her sparkle. In constant defence of James, Bailey was most brutally attacked by Iostha. The town was not taking kindly to her choice in men. But ever the amazing guy, James tried to ease her mind, and prepared a spread reminiscent of Paris rekindling Bailey’s shimmer! I think we all need an  Auntie Velma (Ashley Michaels) in our lives! Best advice ever: find a partner that makes you sparkle!

This episode really felt as though we have come full circle, back to where we began in Season 1: Bailey filled with wanderlust and defending her choice to date a white guy, Anna still trying to fit in in all the wrong ways and Caitlin looking for love from Butterhead but instead just making excuses for him. Ironically, it is only Zoe who, in Season 1 was just beginning to delve into the world of her sex addiction, has made any real progress through therapy.

How do you feel about the return of our lovely ladies? Let me know in the comments below.

Mohawk Girls airs Tuesdays at 8:30 p.m. on APTN

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